It was the Tuesday after Labor Day, three days before the students would begin to arrive and exactly six days before classes were to begin. I was in my office enjoying the quiet and wondering how I was to fill my housekeeping position. I haven't had much luck lately with housekeepers. I was hoping I wouldn't have to do all the housekeeping myself. As I was pondering that possibility, the telephone rang. I put the receiver to my ear. It was the Dean of the college. He didn't waste time on formalities.
"You owe me, Mary Susan. I kept you and your collection of free-thinkers out of it when three, count them, three of your protégés were identified in the socialist demonstration last spring. I had to explain things to the Sheriff. Or rather, try not to explain too much to the Sheriff. Fortunately for both of us, he didn't want me to explain very much.
"Thank God above he chose not to turn them over to the Federal Marshals. He guessed where they lived. They all gave phony addresses, by the way. Phony addresses which wouldn't fool a child of six. I did not confirm that they lived in your boarding house and thereby came within an inch of a charge of obstructing justice if not accessory to a disturbing the peace charge.
"So you owe me. I have before me an application from a girl who must attend college. To be more precise, she must attend my college. Her high school teacher wrote a letter. I read the pertinent sentences. 'Get her in your school! I don't care how you do it, but do it. In time, you will find out why you wanted to do that.
"She hasn't any money. Her family hasn't any money, but according to documents supplied with the application, which I am not privileged to share with you, she has the greatest brain since Einstein. I can cover her tuition without anyone noticing, but I can't pay for her room and board. Not without involving other people I do not wish to involve, I can't. That leaves you. You have to put her up somehow. Will you do it?"
"The quick answer is no." I responded. Then I thought over the entirely too unsatisfactory and transitory relationships I have had with housekeepers in the past and had a thought. "Well, maybe I can. Will she work?"
"I've talked to her about that. I think she would do a lot more than work to get into to my college. Yes, I think she would do any job you could find for her."
"OK. Send her around." Then I had another thought. The only job I had to offer was housekeeper at Begley House. What would the other clients think of this. She would be my housekeeper and their peer at the same time. This would be a strange situation, especially for the rich ones. It could do everybody a lot of good, seeing actual work performed by one of their class, not to indulge in an unintended pun. It could do everybody a lot of harm, especially me, if it went the wrong way. But it could also be a lot of fun, I thought. I hate it when I think that way.
"Make it soon, before the students arrive. Send her on Thursday morning. I suppose you are in a hurry about this and I assure you I am. The sooner the better."
A bit of a pause later, "You sound suddenly a lot more cheerful than you ought to be, Mary Susan. You aren't going to get me into more hot water, are you?"
"Dean Morris, how could you think that of me?" I smiled into the telephone. I have always wondered why I do that, when no one can see me. "I never intend to get anybody into trouble, especially my friends. And thanks again for keeping Begley House out of the news last spring. I really do appreciate it."
The Dean made his famous Harrumph sound over the telephone. "I find I have a need for Begley House, on certain occasions. I hope I do, anyway. I have to do something with the non-conforming ones. I'll send her around Thursday early."
On Thursday morning, at 8:15 AM she knocked on my door. I invited her in and we walked into my office. She introduced herself nicely and offered me her hand.
"Mrs. Begley? My name is Margaret Hines. The Dean said I should see you this morning. He said you might be able to help me find a job."
"He was rather more definite about that with me. My name is Mary Susan, by the way. You are creating quite a wake for such a small boat. The job is housekeeper. It doesn't pay well but it comes with room and board."
"Where is it? I don't have any transportation and I have to go to school, somehow."
She didn't balk at the menial job. That's a plus. "It's here at Begley House. You can live here for the semester and be my housekeeper in return for room and board."
"I'll take it." She exclaimed. "But I'll be a student at the same time. Will that work?"
I thought about that, probably not for long enough. "Not exactly at the same timer." I said slowly, "Sometimes you will be the housekeeper. And sometimes you will be one of the student tenants." I smiled at her encouragingly, and at myself mischievously. I was slowly seeing that this could be fun. I worried about that, but didn't pull back.
"Your duties will include washing the bed linen. That will be done on Saturdays. The other guests will leave their linen outside their door before breakfast. Don't forget to include your own. You can dust and sweep carpets and floors for about an hour each day, whenever you have time, during the week. You will help the cook and me serve meals and clear up afterwards. We serve breakfast and dinner.
I kept the last housekeeper fairly busy most days, but she had funny ideas about work. If she had the feather duster in her hand, she was dusting, and therefore working. It didn't seem to matter whether anything actually got dusted or not. I think you can do the same job she did in about a third of the time. I hope so. This won't work if you can't keep your grades up. By the way, how old are you and what is your classification for this semester? And what is your major field of study?" I added.
"I'm twenty and a half. I am a freshman, and I plan to major in either English or maybe history or psychology or sociology."
She tapered off towards the end. It was actually a very good thing she didn't have her mind made up. She could specialize in a couple of years. Then I remembered her age. According to the rules of the college, she wasn't old enough to live off campus. The Dean surely knew that. He had failed to mention it to me, however. The Dean is a lot trickier than I sometimes give him credit for. She would be underage for some large part of a year. I worried about that.
"How about your parents? I would like to meet them, even if they are not going to pay me."
Her head moved back about two inches. Her face firmed up. "My parents are unavailable." she said quietly. Then she added, "I mean, they won't come. They don't approve of my going to college when there is work to be done at home. But I didn't run away. They know I'm here, they just won't come.
"But please, Mary Susan, please. Let me have the job so I can go to college this fall. I'll be old enough in six months. Don't make me wait another whole year. I've really got nowhere to go. I've been told that if I left home, I wouldn't be welcomed back."
I could feel myself just on the cusp of saying something really foolish. Something I could regret very much later on. I paused, hoping for sanity to return. Oh, well. I had been there before. "OK, we do it without your parents permission. But you had better maintain a very low profile, at least until you come of age. You aren't supposed to be allowed to live off campus until you have junior standing, and you aren't supposed to be on your own until you are 21. I can get into a lot of trouble if we get caught out."
"I'll be quiet as a mouse, I promise. I don't want to be thrown out of here, or the college, or out on the street."
I have never been very good at interviewing. I couldn't think of anything else I wanted to ask her. I invited her to look at the housekeeper's room.
As she was looking at the room, I was thinking. When I Looked at the cap and apron in the wardrobe I had an idea.
I looked directly at her and spoke in a pseudo-serious voice. "Your uniform will consist exactly of a cap and an apron, worn over your school clothes. You will wear your uniform when you are working and only then. You will take meals with your fellow students as a guest, without the cap and apron."
Trying on my stern face, I continued. "When you are bringing plates and trays from the kitchen or busing the table after meals you will wear the cap and apron. You will never work without the apron and cap, not for one second. And you will not fraternize with the paying students when you are wearing the uniform. You will keep your two roles entirely separate. Agreed?"
I had visions of what that would do to the students and the situation itself. I couldn't help it. I laughed out loud. Margaret looked startled.
I put together the straightest face I could, dropped my voice a half-octave, looked directly into her eyes and said in the flattest voice I could muster, "When you are wearing your uniform, you will mind your tongue and remember to say ma'am and sir to the guests. You will speak to them only when required. You will remember never to say ma'am or sir to anyone at all when you are not wearing the cap and apron. This might be quite difficult at first, since it will surely change from minute to minute. I have it on good authority that you can handle that."
She stared at me. I could see in her face the exact instant she caught on. "Shall I use the little curtsy when I am taking instructions? And always keep my eyes directed towards the floor?"
"I think the curtsy might be going a little too far." I laughed, "That seems more of an English custom which might be lost on the young ladies and gentlemen of central Missouri. You might want to keep your eyes down, however. That might help keep you from laughing out loud, especially at first.
"We are going to have a reception on Sunday afternoon where all the guests are introduced to each other. Both Cook and I can use some help during the morning. However, at the reception, you will not serve, which means you will be another of the new students for the entire reception. I want them paying attention to each other and not to you and me. That way the guests will not expect anything special from you at breakfast. The servant role begins with dinner on Monday. It will give them something to gossip about at Parlor.
Margaret looked agreeable if not entirely comprehending, especially the purpose. I added, "We're going to have fun with this, you just wait and see!"
Margaret smiled. She moved into the housekeeper's room on the ground floor that day.